Tips to grabbing bezier handles and points?

i've been using illustrator on 20 years now, , i've wondered if there tips grabbing bezier handles or points.  frustrated when click , click , can't grab point.  there setting or keep me pulling hair out?

 

years ago, used use pen tool , on fly hold command or cntrl (i forget) , change mouse hallow arrow, change bezier , keep going pen.  feature seems missing, wonder if there's way also.

which version of illustrator using?

 

the cmd modifier key should still work. first select direct selection tool, pen tool , start drawing. holding down cmd temporarily activate direct selection tool.

 

doesn't work you?

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